God Can Redeem Your Painful Past

Do you ever feel like your past defines you? That you will never be able to move on from what has happened to you or what you have done to walk into your purpose and destiny? Do you sometimes feel that things are too far gone, that you are without hope, and that there is no way to get over your past?

If so, then I have some good news for you! God can take every tear, every regret, everything you've lost and turn it around. He is your redeemer and the lifter of your head. God will not hold your past against you. Not only does he promise to redeem what you've lost, but he will even use it for your good and for the good of others.

Let me tell you a little about myself if you don't know me. My parents’ marriage had been rocky from the start, and I came on the scene as a "whoops" baby at an extraordinarily tumultuous time for my family. My father, who was a pastor and taught at a theological seminary, lost his job due to some differences with the church and some of the marriage issues my parents had. He subsequently stopped attending church. We moved a year after I was born to another town, and my parents struggled to keep their marriage together. Finally, when I was six, my parents divorced.  My mother and I lived in Florida, while my dad and two older brothers lived in Illinois.

Throughout my childhood, my mother suffered through long seasons of depression and then bouts of mania. She received electric shock treatments, which was a treatment for her condition then, and was hospitalized several times during my childhood for various mental health crises. I vividly remember her telling me when I was in elementary school that she just wanted to end her life and drown herself in our pool. Walking home from school, I sometimes wondered if I would find her alive when I walked through the door. She loved me fiercely and was amazing in so many ways. But often, she was just hanging on by a thread.

Years later, I lost my mother, father, and then my precious 21-year-old son within fourteen months. This is not a sob story, but other challenges in my life included financial struggles which left my husband and me under a mountain of debt, career unhappiness, and a general life malaise that hit me in my forties and left me feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. 

I say all that to say that I have walked through some rough times in my life, as I know many of you have. God is still in the process of redeeming the painful things from my past. What I know now is that my parent's divorce, my mom's mental illness, my son's sickness, and passing, our financial struggles, and my career wandering ultimately made me stronger. God has a way of redeeming the struggles and tragedies in our lives and using them to strengthen us. Then, he can use our stories to support others. He may not have brought on our difficulties, but he is a master at turning our difficulties around and using them for our good.

The Bible says in John 10:10 that the thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but that Jesus came that we would have life and have it to the full. While we don't always understand why our journey includes hardships and difficulties, Jesus assures us that he is here with us and has overcome the world.

Jesus reminds us that, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV).

We live in a fallen world where sin is present, and darkness is not yet gone. But God has given us strategies to be at peace and overcome, even when walking through trials and difficulties. God uses his Spirit to intercede for us, and he works all things out for our good.

Romans 8:26-28 in the English Standard Version says:

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

So, while the challenges and struggles you have gone through may have been unfair, horrible, and deeply challenging, it is not the end of your story.

One of my favorite speakers is Joyce Meyer. I have tuned into her messages of hope, encouragement, and spiritual tough love for years. She experienced a tragic childhood that included many years of being sexually abused by family members, including her father. She then went through a horrible first marriage. It has been such an encouragement to me to see how God has redeemed her past and used her story to bring hope and healing to millions worldwide. She is a perfect example of how God can turn around our tragedies for good.

I was speaking with a former work friend recently who mentioned to me that she came back to faith in God partly because of watching me after my period of grief when my mother, father, and son passed away within 14 months. I was in leadership at a health system during this time amid the pandemic. To say that life was stressful and difficult is an understatement. This friend mentioned that as she could see me emerging from the ashes of despair and walking in peace and joy, she realized that only God could bring that about. She returned to faith with a renewed sense of God's love and care for her.

I am on a mission to repurpose my painful journey to help others traveling through grief, loss, discouragement, disillusionment, and disappointment with life. I have seen God take the ashes of my life and turn them into something beautiful. I have come to experience peace, happiness, and, miraculously, joy. These are a testament to God's miraculous power at work in a broken heart. 

He wants to do the same for you. As you turn to him and let him hold you and bind up your broken heart and wounds, you will begin to emerge into a place of abundance, peace, and, yes, even joy. You don't have to stay in the miry pit. He is your waymaker and the lifter of your head.

None of us like to go through difficulties. Sometimes, things don't make sense or seem fair. But God doesn't disqualify you because you underwent trials or made mistakes. Instead, he says he will redeem the stolen years as you trust him. Life may not look as you thought it would, but it can still be beautiful!